Of Mice and Men

I guess I'm really getting the hang of this blogging mood. No, no one died and gave me the blogging bug

Got Amir the Weasel to survey my blog. ok sorry so I'm evil-no-surprises-there but hey I like your blue braces. Serious. Surprisingly he found it nice, considering he tends to be blatantly harsh in his critisism.

So began our usual but rare conversations online. This was after I met him earlier on in the day to sit in with him in the opening speeches and such. And yes was he ever so animated in coveying his thoughts and feelings about taking his first module with noobes like me gawking to his every word. Oh, Daryl David the guest speaker made a really great speech..... in spite of being a has-been. Shut up matbloodz. What? He said, "Even if theres a cure for cancer, people will still know me from the host in The Pyramid Game." totally nailed it man.

Anyway, I couldn't help but to bring up my verbal diarrhoea regarding certain guys I encounted to him. In short, I was commenting on how there were terribly poseurish peeps in existence, especially when they were the only smartasses in the whole LT with a laptop typing away during the lectures in mock interest- No need for jealousy I have one too-when the majority of the peeps behind them knows that they're on MSN.

I mean, I get that the guys are as enthusiastic as me. I should know, they're the only other people I've ever heard of (besides me) who plans their timetable weeks in advance and prints out every bits of info of a Freshman. But theres a very fine line with being enthusiastically prepared and showing off! I don't hate them, God knows we may have things in common. On the contrary I think I really want to get myself acquainted to them. To which Amir replied "that's why you shouldn't go around talking about people (too late i've blogged it) coz if they get to know you'll be in an awkward position (well hope they don't).. people all have alot in common la.. its just tt people CHOOSE to look at the differences instead"

Deep.

In IM: -
Amir: cmon la.. everyone human can get along with another, whether jock or nerd or whatever. its the universal human spirit.. cmon man ur in fass studying social sciences. (ooh real deep).
Me: Yes and the fact that you're one of my really good friends is testament to that. Im spankingly goodlooking while you're.... nice. =) (what? i like his blue braces. nice)
Amir: HAHA
Me: Ok.. so im spankingly goodlooking AND humourous.
Amir: rolls eyes.

Damn I'm good.

After all the epiphany I'm getting, still. You can't help recoiling in disgust when some girls in the LT wore hipsters so low they had hideous cleavage in unmentionable places. Or you can't help telling your best friend "Oh God look! (points!) You can spot a geek a mile away" as the poor fella trudges awkwardly down the LT steps at the other end of the room to find his seat. Or when some fat Ah-Lian-looking girl literally stomped down the steps finding her seat you audibly said "Damn. When she walks the ground shakes".

Guilty as charged.

On a lighter note, matey and I had lunch with the big yellow taxi aka Xavier, who seriously needs to clean his cheesecake-attacked bag. Poor fellow. Also I bumped into Haresh on the way to McDonalds at Engin Blk. Only he could get me stunned after calling my full name from behind. Met up with me placer friend, who still hasn't matriculated yet. We bitched, had dinner (or rather he), before sending me home in his new car, still bitching. I love new car smell.

On The Contrary

So have you gone for any camps lately? I'm sure you have!
On the contrary, no.

Gone were the days where I was ecstatically enthusiastic in joining school activities "for the general good" or "for the spirit of fun and excitement and school spirit" Re: NJC. It sure is fun to indulge in unrated enjoyments of the soul in active participation and stuff. Better still if it's the A Levels when results are being released and you get like what, 4 As and couple of distinctions; I didn't.

So I'm now succumbing on prioritising my options, layman-wise to 'wake up my f***ing idea'. To settle down get to some studying. To make sure that none of my modules fall below a B. Again, on the other hand, I wouldn't want to be a hermit mugger either. Exploit tea sessions! I guess tea sessions won't hurt, not when I get to meet loadsa peeps ala networking sessions. What better way to promote Kayos Designs. Gee might as well go for those lame camps right.. Well at least I won't be made to do stupid things like what normal camps do.

Do other enriching stuff! hmm.. we'll see about that. Coz at the moment i'm not really thrilled. And probably never will. Have I gotten off university at a bad start? Where's the enthusiasm, the exuberance, the spark of all things? oh well.

On the contrary, the satisfaction lies in getting the modules I want, instead of settling for 2nd choice. To have a great timetable meticulously planned by me manifested by itself. Once that falls in place, to have a hell of time pouring through books, savouring every bit of info, and crafting a well written academic essay worthy of an A Grade. If only Political Science isn't so boring.. Psychology! *drools*... CnM paired with Business.. DAMN matbloodz you're spoiled for choice. Well at least you've narrowed things down. Somewhat.

To quote Maly, We are our own choices! Up till now Im still pondering whatever the hell is wrong with that sentence. *shrugs*

First Day Anticlimax

Couldn't get any sleep at all. Annoying. What with tossing and turning and counting sheep of all shapes and sizes. Gave up after stopping at 682.

Found it really pointless to lug my laptop around especially when it doesn't really serve any purpose than to impress people that you have already bought one much earlier. Which is again heartwrenching discovering that the computer centres have much more enticing deals concerning Thinkpad laptops. Nevermind.

Got onto the wrong queue where matey ended up matriculating half an hour earlier than me, to cut the story short. To make things worse, the queue number system malfunctioned and I had to wait EVEN longer to matriculate, as things were done manually. Thank God I had some semblance of patience.

Met many many familiar faces; to rant; Ivan, John Khoo, Sunni, Alywin, Zheng Yu, Yanxi, some ACpeeps God knows their names, JunLin, Jerry, Hanxing, Yujie etc. They-who-matriculate-this-year. Great to see Haireez, Maly, Reeza, Johannes, Kelvin Seet, Lt. Azfar the resident undergrads again.

Nevertheless the highlights were freebies from the matriculation fair! Yes sir yes sir three bags full. Maxim and Newman and vouchers oh my! Nothing beats being mobbed my random people everytime you try taking 3steps. Better still, if they have freebies to give away. Oooo.. DBS Debit Card, here I come...

So that's that. My first day of school. Pretty uneventful eh. Tommorrow's a better day I guess. I mean today; past midnight already. I'd better think of better things to wear. I mean, my green tshirt and jeans gettup was alright, but so were the hundreds of others who wore tshirt and jeans too. Naah but I still wont wear sleeveless yet. I've laughed at too many who wore them in school today. Hasan was right.. They should get ready a jacket should they ever get laughed at. Better still a paper bag.

Yawn. Good I'm finally dozing off..

Fanfare

Smile, and the whole world smiles with you.

To my dear kayotiq darling, I'm sorry I've been a terrible person lately. Things haven't been working around to my advantage at all, and you've been at target range of verbal attacks and awkward silences. Yet, you're still 'standing by me'. I thank you for that, and loving you all the same. *Nauseating suffocating hug*. Smile, because not only you have me, but also a 2.5+kg worth of colour pencils coming your way from God-knows-which-country from your ever so sweet newfound graffiti friend. *hehehik*

Looking back at 2007 as of now, thoughts come flooding since the events of Day 1. Maybe i'll blog these events as figments of my memory soon. People come and go. Or do they? Never. For they will forever have a place in my thoughts and hearts. Blessed I am to have friends that care and most importantly, a long-lasting relationship.

Nevertheless today's a new day. Another step, another phase in my life, just like the first day in kindergarten where I remembered bawling for dad, or first day of primary school where the whole class was so quiet. Or the first day in ACS(I) where things were pompously grand, or the first day in NJ where I arrived early flanked by my close peeps. I was sent off by my dad and me matey (he who sent a surprise package as well) to Tekong, a harrowing experience.

I remember first days very well. Today will be no exception. A new chapter. Anxiously anticipating, an alien environment, yet comfortingly familiar. I'll be flanked by close peeps yet again, though not necessarily the same ones few years back but still. Deja vu all over again.

Now what should I wear? They say you'll stand out in NUS if you actually put in effort in your grooming. Tsk Tsk. Those muggers.

Matbloodz. The Narcissist.

Misery, Thy Name is Weather

The weather's been miserable lately. I'd have thoroughly enjoyed it if i wasn't so miserable myself. What with me hacking and sniffing away, I wondered WHY I didn't listen to Rihanna on my way home as 'raindrops keep falling on my head' a few days back. urrgh. ella ella eh eh eh..

That and the loss or misplacement of 'all the small things'. I've yet to come to terms with my items being missing. They say you only value the things that you have only when they're gone. Ah, the misery. The cold cold.

Also, I've seriously outstupid myself again by splurging on things I don't really need for my laptop, rendering me rather penniless till my next pay on National Day's eve. Way to go matbloodz, now all you need is the usual critisism from your matey to make you feel dumber than you already are. Seriously, I've got to stop this bad habit of using up my reserves once it's replenished. *Makes a mental note*

Mood was temporarily ruined when I was out with me homey yest. Bumped into Hanif and his band of geeks and called out to him. Thrice. Loudly. With the help of one of his geekmates who came over to say hi to Bryan. So the bitch ignored me, I guess he's way to cool for me hah. raise eyebrows. Just he wait while I see him a few days time. *evil smirk*

Nevertheless, you. Yes you. Thanks for caring. I appreciate every minute of it.

Verbobophobia

No, nothing to do with Bobo the very funny clown.

Rather, my fear of verbosity marring my speech or blog enty. All is fine. For now.

Anti-cipation=Anti-climax?

Matriculation draws near. Therein lies a speck of euphoria of knowing that I've arrived somewhere, that the long arduous journey of adolescence landed me here, in NUS. Nevertheless I continue to marvel at the institution deeply rooted in tradition. On how the buildings looked and smelled so ancient, yet its insides possess a complex modernity of undergraduate life. Students from all walks, yet looking so studious, and the many few who discernably lack fashion sense. I guess it must be my shallow persona talking again, guffawing at those who are geekily repulsive. Shut up Matbloodz you're no better.

Nevertheless the nagging feeling of Anticlimax rears his ugly head. Will it be the same in NJ, where I'll lose whatever spark there is when things come full swing? Hopefully not, for I've learnt to perserve and endured; being a Bronco Coy Platoon Sergeant under the iron-clad rule of John Selvamani is testament to that.

Time to start anew. To focus without distraction, unless distraction comes with a monetary value to my advantage a.k.a work.

Sidetraking things a bit, the year 2007 is a year full of anticipation; of ORD, of freedom, of turning 21 and attending birthdays of such nature, of Budi's Wedding, of Happy Endings/Perculiar Chris, of Harry Potter and the Overcrazed Hype of the Movie and the Last Installment, of matriculation, of earning enough to fund my driving licence quest yes i still can't drive. The list goes on. Still griping to whether all those turned out well, I daresay it couldn't be better.

Eagerly anticipating matriculation, equipped with my trusty laptop, a few documents, my entertainment medium in the form of my iPod + PSP, new clothes and old friends (the best there are).

All of those sans my wallet. Somebody, please find it. I beg of you.

Compulsion

com·pul·sion

1. the act of compelling; constraint; coercion.
2. the state or condition of being compelled.
3. Psychology. a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one's will.

The Return to Writing has never been so alluring, so captivating as a forceful force propels me forward to type word for word. I'm back. Writing again. Something I should've continued years before but was afraid to. For many reasons unspeakable. Renew, Refresh, Reconsidered.

Four Years On. 21. As I meticulously generate literature from my mould-infested brain, a tiny irrational voice screeched "start NOW! Or forever be ridiculed by your loved ones as a bumbling fool irrational and incoherent, spurting sense only when challenged."

It is such a wonder how my blank blog still survives to this day. To this uneventful and insignificant day, where I pick up the remains, fashion it and continue propping it up like a glass display. Aged, yet still cold.

As I continued pondering on my next word, the floodgates holding my thoughts seemed to slack. yes yes relack one corner. I have this urge to spill everything, on past events, on whoever and whatever I could muster. But no, that would be all too easy. Maturity is Key.

After all, im 21. "The change will do me good, And it will." This was echoed elsewhere, elsewhen.

I'll Try.