Jangan Pandang Belakang

To my horror, I saw a boy waving gleefully at me, ecstatic to find me amidst the crowd. This was no ordinary boy; I know him. He began whispering excitedly to his parents and his little brother, pointing at me. I smiled. What I did next was unthinkable. I pulled her away and told her, "Come, walk straight, don't look back".

"why?"

"Because...."

***

Three Revelations, all shocking. Today, on the third week of school. All three aroused anxiety basically. Fear too. For fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to the dark side. Naah i won't succumb too easily. In order of merit, the first being not so severe.. here we go.

First Revelation:
That cors bidding opens tommorrow morning at night is giving the whole of Arts Faculty the jitters. I myself may have overlooked certain things and is scrambling to think of Plan B. To think that the original plan may have worked flawlessly. Sigh. Taking out a module from my choice is a headache; to reconsider taking another module to replace it is another. Why bother you may ask. Long story but to keep it short, all my modules Ive chosen are high in demand. Needs more bid points than a measly 600. Period.

Hence the Herculean task to analyse the stock market tomorrow while looking at the historical trends; which modules did not fufill the student quota (hence equates to 1bid point). Also to note on the amount of bid points students place for Psych, PolSci and NewMedia. I want in. Frankly, I'm anxious.

Second Revelation:
No I do not owe Reeza or Malay Dance anything. It's this inert passion for me to want to find the rhythm in me, and moving to the artistical beat. That, in addition to get myself in tune with my culture. I tell you, once you start Dance you'll never be able to concentrate. And once your grades flunk only then will you realise? You are just like your father, never learn. People tell you things you don't wanna listen. No, Mother, I learn. I'll take this merely as a hobby, not for serious popularity pursuits. But what's the point? It won't put food on the table. Hello, economic value?? Uh huh. Like I said, it's a hobby, as neither will your Sudoku or Yoga. And no I wont be joining Student Union just for that, to relive my glory days that come with academic failure.

So Ilsa Tari welcomes me, rather curtly I guess. Though they may not really like me they still need me, and I smirk to the irony of that. My first dance practice (after a few years) starts next Monday, though Tea Session is on Wednesday. Dance, and dance I will, slightly relieved that I wont be the only male dancing. Enter Omar, a former SJI chap well aquainted with matey and other.. Josephians. I've heard quite alot about him, and he's a nice guy. Oh well, the event is in less than six weeks. And frankly, I'm anxious.

Third Revelation:
This one's left me stunned. well on to the story:

"Because darling, he knows me. And he'll be looking forward to seeing me again. I won't want to disappoint him when he'll realise sooner or later that he'll never be able to see me again. Let's move on dear, don't look back."

"Goodbye Afif," I whispered. Afif. Yes, that's his name, I remember it well. "Study hard, and take care of yourself."

I've lost too many things lately. And frankly, I'm anxious.